Human Again

It's the little things that make you feel human again.

• An uninterrupted shower
• An uninterrupted meal
• Cooking a meal . . . uninterrupted
• An uninterrupted night's sleep (I don't remember what that is like)
• Cleaning the house
• Doing your hair
• Applying make-up
• Brushed teeth
• Plucked eyebrows
• Wearing a real bra
• Shaved legs
• Reading a chapter in a book
• Driving in the car by yourself
• Watching a chick flick
• An uninterrupted blog entry (arg!)
• Vacuuming the floors
• Cleaning out that pile of junk you've been meaning to get to
• Hanging flowers on the back porch
• Filling bird feeders
• A trip to the grocery store/farmer's market by yourself

I feel myself relaxing just listing these things.

If I were to get any 5 of these things in one week I would think I was dreaming.
But I would know I was not dreaming, because that would require an uninterrupted night's sleep.

So, then I would come to the conclusion that I was dead and this is Heaven.
I would look around and think,

"Hmm. Not bad . . .

Ok, where's my new body?"



I have new pictures to post along with an entry I've been working on - but our desktop computer that I keep my pictures on has crashed.
You know when you try to do something on the computer and a little warning sign pops up and says that force-quitting that application could cause damage to your computer? Well, sometimes it actually does. Lesson learned.
Funny that it was actually my husband who did it this time. Ha!
Not funny that we are going to have to pay about $100 just to see if we can salvage any of the videos and pictures of our precious daughter. Also, my husband's grad work is on that computer and several of the projects are due next week. Eeek!
Please send happy thoughts and prayers into our Mac. Does "laying on hands" work on machines?

I am a Jungle Gym

I am a jungle gym.
I am a rock wall.
My nose, ears and eye sockets are hand-holds.
My legs, bulging belly and boobs are foot-holds.
My hair is ropes from which to swing.
I am a human jungle gym.

This is what I feel like with a rambunctious infant squirming all over me. Poor girl. She can not yet move herself to all the places she constantly and so desperately wants to be! She wants everything and is discontented by it once she has finally attained it. Restless, fickle girl. But, don't I so often feel the same way?

Rashes, rashes, rashes all over my baby's body. What are they? I am currently trying to rule-out foods by switching her back to just breast milk for a while. By comparing it to pictures on-line I do not believe it is eczema. Could it be just dryness from running a heater all winter? She has been cranky lately and my mother suggested she could be itchy - which makes sense. I guess we will be making a doctor appt. tomorrow. Arg.
Last time I took her in before her scheduled check-up bc I feared she had acid reflux I felt that they were all treating me like the overreacting mother that brings her baby in after every sneeze. But maybe it was just in my head - how they were treating me, not the acid reflux (though that may have been all in my head, as well.)


Last night I composed an entire post while lying in bed. I remember it was funny . . . but that is all I remember of it. However, I did have a dream that an ex-boyfriend of mine gained 400lbs and was crying bc he had moobs. I was trying to console him by saying that I had gained a lot of weight, too and we can find a way for us to lose weight. I think it was my subconscious's way of making me feel better about my weight-gain. It worked. But it's not true. He hasn't gained much weight . . . dang it.

And now for a little levity:
Here is Juniper having fun in her new highchair . . . and then deciding she is so over it.





I don't know why the video uploaded so pixelly. I'll figure it out next time. This time it took me over an hour to just figure out how (through trial and error) to post a video on here. I finally broke down and uploaded my very first video to YouTube. I'm one of the cool kids, now.

Dear So and So . . .

Dear Sleeping Baby,

I am conflicted. I am always so relieved that you are sleeping and I have a few moments to myself. But at the same time I miss you and want to give you hugs. I check on you every few minutes because I love you and want to make sure you are safe and I have to fight the urge to pick you up and smother you with kisses.

I know that your naps make you a much happier baby. I am so proud of you for going to sleep even when you are not yet falling asleep in my arms and also for soothing yourself back to sleep when those unnecessarily loud pick-up trucks and motorcycles go by our house. I am considering going outside and throwing rocks at them the next time.
I love you. Keep breathing.

- Mommy of a Rested Baby

*****

Dear "."

 Well, hello again. I did not miss you during your 13 month hiatus and I am not happy to see that you have returned - with a vengeance! The headaches, soar tummy, achy muscles, lethargy and need for chocolate that you bring are not welcome. I guess I do appreciate the fact that you are a part of a functioning reproductive system that produced my precious baby. Whatever.

- Crabby Cramper

*****

Dear Girl Scouts,

Yes, if propositioned I will buy several boxes of Thin Mints. No, I do not need them nor do I really have the money to waste on those delicious boxes of cellulite that I will no doubt consume on my own. I am in a vulnerable state (see above letter.) Please stay away.

- Weak-Willed Woman

*****

Dear Stretch Marks,

You will no longer be labeled as "Stretch Marks." From now on you will be known as "Tiger Stripes." RAWRRR!!!

- A Mommy Re-Purposing Her Skin as Fashionable Body-Art

*****

Dear Winter Weather,

How I wished for you while growing up in Daytona Beach, FL. As I child I would have loved to frolic in your snow, make snow men, snow ball fights, ice skating, suck on icicles, catch your flakes on my tongue, sled, stick my tongue on a metal pole, avoid yellow snow, etc. That was back when days were empty of responsibility and filled with whimsy.
Now, a body's got places to be - things to achieve. I do not mean to sound like a grump. I did so enjoy you during your first visit . . . and some on your second. You were so pretty and such a wonder at our mountain home. I love dawning my winter coats and hand-made scarves and hats. But you are becoming down-right inconvenient and dangerous. You ice our drive-way and the mountain road on which we live. You cancel activities I have been looking forward to and you make the grocery store a mad-house. My heating bills are ridiculous as a Florida girl is not used to these temperatures. And I have a serious case of cabin fever.
You have been pretty, but it is time to go away.

- A Serious Humbug

*****

Dear Husband,

I am so happy that 3 years ago I let you marry me - and you let me marry you back. I knew you would be a great husband and father, but to experience that daily is truly a blessing. You are patient and forgiving, hard-working and devoted, loving and understanding and I LOVE you!
I thought I would be disappointed if our baby began looking more like you than me, but I have to say, you make one beautiful baby! (Let's make more.)
Happy Valentine's Day!!!

- Your Lucky Wife

*****

Dear Readers,

Thank you for taking an interest! Check out Kat's website for more "Dear So and So"s.

- Linzi

A Round of Applause!!!

I would like to commend my daughter, Juniper on a very successful day!
Today she:

• ate and loved rice cereal mixed with peas. I told my doctor that she shows an interest in eating food, but doesn't seem to like the taste of the rice cereal. I believed that she likely found it bland after the various flavors she discovered through breast milk. He recommended mixing in a little bit of pureed veggies with the rice cereal. So, I put together her new high chair (hurray!), and placed Juniper in it while I fixed her cereal. She had so much fun smearing her hands across the tray and watching me from a decent height. I think she also really enjoyed sitting up (I've tried to put her in one of those Bumbo chairs several times but she hates it!) I mixed some cereal with breast milk and peas, bibbed the baby and sat down to try it out. She was not immediately accepting to the spoon. I guess she has recalled being scorned by it's previous bland food. But, when I got a little into her mouth, she of course made that baby "Ick! This is a new flavor!" face, but then began grabbing for the spoon making "Mmmm" noises. Hey, Mikey! She likes it! She ate like a pro - big spoonfuls! When I would let her play with the spoon she knew exactly what to do with it. The rubber end goes in the mouth. Smart girl! She was tired and began sucking her thumb, but would then remove it in order to receive more spoonfuls. I cannot believe she ate so well! My baby is a genius. When her head began to droop onto the tray, I wiped her up and put her to bed . . . which brings me to the next great thing she has been doing today.

• She has been going to sleep so well once I lay her down! Sometimes I have been laying her down when I am more ready for her to go to sleep than she is, but she just conks out. I turn on her fan and a CD and place her in her bed. She fusses a little while she can still see me, but as soon as I am out of sight her thumb goes in her mouth. Even if she doesn't go straight to sleep she at least gets quiet and she is asleep within 3-5minutes. I know that babies' sleeping habits go through many changes. I feel like Juniper is a different sleeper every 2 weeks or so. Therefore, I am cherishing this phase for every blissful second of peace it is worth!

• She has been much more content to play on her own. She enjoys her play mat or play saucer for 15-20minutes at a time. Today I even flipped on a kid's educational show (similar to Baby Einsteins) and she had a blast watching it. She was flailing her arms in response to the characters and talking back to them. As much as my sanity would love to just plop her down in front of a video several times a day, my conscience won't let me. It is just good to know that when I am at my wit's end it is an option. 

This is not a very well structured or thought through post, but I just wanted to get a few of these milestones down while I have a moment to myself. The purpose of this blog began as an electronic baby book as I am terrible at filling in the precious one that is collecting dust on my night stand. I would hate to ever lose these memories. I figure one good fire could destroy her baby book but the internet will likely last forever, ever, ever, ever (echo effect.)

Let Me Sleep

Last night Juniper slept 8 hours. Unfortunately that 8 hours began at 6:30pm. While I enjoyed having my evening - being able to cook and actually sit to eat dinner - I did not enjoy that fact that the 8 hours ended at 2:30am.
In the morning Juniper was lying next to me in bed after a feeding. She decided she was not ready to sleep and did not want me to sleep, either. I was determined to continue my slumbering and she was determined to wake me up. For an HOUR she babbled at me, fussed and hit me in the face repeatedly. After satisfying myself as the world's most neglectful mother, I gave in and got up. Before picking her up I made a quick trip to the restroom. What did I find upon reentering the bedroom? Juniper sucking her thumb, fast asleep again. And there I was wide awake. I think she does this on purpose. She is trying to drive me crazy. What will she be like as a teen, I wonder?

For the rest of the day we were busy around town running errands. Junie was wonderful, wonderful. Though she hated being put into her car-seat, she LOVES her Baby Bjorn and does not mind being in it for hours at a time. She smiled and kicked her legs and waved her arms at all who passed. The world was putty in her adorable little hands. It was so fun to watch someone else's day be brightened just by the sight of her. I love being her mommy.