Wednesday, December 30, 2009

This Sucks Because She Won't!

Warning: This post discusses boobies. If that makes you uncomfortable, read no further.

I wish I had written this closer to when the events had occurred for a better account. It just took me so darn long to remember and recount the events of my delivery that everything else was put on hold.

Anyway, we finally get baby girl home. I went about trying to do about the only thing my beat-up body should be capable of doing: feeding the baby. I had gotten some pointers from the nurse at the hospital and had attended a breast feeding class during my 9th month. I figured I was pretty prepared. I cradled Juniper in a proper feeding position - supporting her head as I had seen. I supported my breast with the other hand, waited for her mouth to open and popped the thing right into it. I thought, "Now, suck." But she didn't suck. She screamed. So, we tried again. And again. Ok, lets try the other breast. Same thing. I couldn't understand it. For hours I tried to feed her while she screamed - so tired and so hungry. I would let her suck on my finger for a few minutes and then we would try again. Again she screamed. She screamed and cried with perfectly pitiful little "Wha"s until, exhausted, she would cry herself to sleep.

This continued for 2 days. I was exasperated, exhausted, desperate and pretty much mortified. Why wouldn't my baby eat. I kept saying, "It is right here, baby. Take it!" But she would not. I was beside myself. Here it was, my biggest job as a mother - to make sure my child was fed - and I couldn't do it. Everything I had read said to keep going - that eventually the baby would feed. They said not to use a bottle bc it would cause nipple confusion. However, I was watching my baby waste away before my eyes. This pudgy little baby I had brought home from the hospital had lost almost all of her baby fat. Her double chin was replaced with saggy skin and her neck began to look like that of an old woman. Her rosy glow had turned ashen. My every instinct as a mother said to do what I could to get something into that baby's stomach. So, fighting the guilt imposed by breast-feeding nazis I broke out the hand pump. I pumped about 3oz, poured it into a bottle and popped it into her mouth. She drank! She chugged that bottle down and when she was done - no screaming. I had a completely different baby. This baby was peaceful and contented. We all sighed and laughed with relief and then we slept.

The next day we went to a lactation consultant. Juniper had lost 2.5lbs from her birth weight! That is significant. They commended me, though, on doing what I could to get something into her stomach. She was responding well with good color in her skin and would not need to be admitted to the hospital.
It turns out that my breasts were becoming so engorged that my nipples were flattening out and giving her nothing to latch on to. They gave me plastic nipple shields and Juniper took to them right away. Another sigh of relief. Also, I had the letdown of a super soaker and I was drowning her, so they encouraged me to pump a little before nursing. They sent me home with the nipple shields, storage bottles and a rented electric pump to help lessen the engorgement. Happy baby, happy mommy.
Now that she was eating we had to work on improving her latch. "It is called breast feeding, not nipple feeding," they would tell me. Well, someone tell Juniper that! I would do everything they told me to do, angling myself right, widening her mouth and shoving as much of myself in there as I could - but she would inevitably slide down to where she was only sucking on my nipple. 3 months later this is still her preference, but my skin is a lot tougher now. Then, she was biting me raw and to the point of bleeding. The nipple shield would be filled with blood and I was afraid I was creating a little vampire of a baby. With creams and soothing pads they finally healed and toughened up.

I have resigned to the fact that, though we have both greatly improved at it, she is just a fussy eater. My mom says I was the same way and that I fought her the whole time I was nursing until I weened myself around 6 months. She is also a sloooooooooow eater. She likes to take breaks and look around. She will want to stop and play and then want to eat again 10-15 minutes later, causing her feeding time to last about an hour. This makes it very difficult when in social situations. It is frustrating to keep disappearing or to stay gone for hours at a time. With my anatomy and her fussiness it makes it difficult to breastfeed her discreetly in public. This is why I typically try to keep some pumped milk with me. I just fart in the general direction of all the breastfeeding brow-beaters giving me the stink-eye. It is breast milk - but what business is it of their's how I choose or need to feed my baby. How dare they make another woman feel inferior for doing what they can to feed their child. Occasionally, Juniper's hunger is too great for my supply and I have to supplement a little formula. The BFNs (Breastfeeding Nazis) would have me to simply let my baby do without, saying it won't hurt her. Seriously? Giving her formula would do her more harm than having her go hungry? Ridiculous. If my baby is hungry, I find a way to feed her - it is instinctual. Here is a confession for all you booby bullies - sometimes I give her formula simply out of convenience. I must be a terrible mom. My child is going to grow up stupid, right? You self-righteous shamers seriously need to put a cork in it. If we wanted your opinion, we would ask. You just tend to and raise your own little organic baby geniuses. I am going to laugh when my formula feeder gets better college scholarships.
Sorry, I got a little mean and angry their. I just think its horrible when women who have tried their best but are simply unable to breastfeed are judged as bad mothers. I will get off of my soap box. However, this is my blog so I guess I shouldn't have to apologize for expressing my thoughts.
I will probably go back later and edit all of this out - after I cool down.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Our Delivery Experience

With the baby 2 weeks overdue we had an induction scheduled for 8am Tuesday, September 29th, however I was praying that the whole process would begin on its own.

Monday night around 10:45 I got off of the phone with my mom, used the restroom and then went into the baby's room (temporarily an office) to talk to Erik. I opened my mouth to speak to him and started to sit down in the pink rocker when, OOPS! My eyes got big. Was I not finished going to the bathroom? I clamped my legs together and waddled towards the bathroom but as soon as I got through the door I felt warmth running down my leg. I was shocked! I couldn't make it stop! I thought, "Am I really wetting myself right now?!" Then it dawned on me. Could this be my water breaking? Erik thought it was and said we needed to head to the hospital. I called my mom and described it and she said I needed to head to the hospital, too. I wasn't so convinced. So, while Erik tried to contact the doctor via phone, I got on-line and looked up Yahoo Answers on what it is like when your water breaks and what you should do - because apparently I trust complete strangers over my own family.
Convinced by the internets, I agree to let Erik take me to the hospital. We throw our bags in the car (bags that I have had packed for over a month) and head down the road. About 3 minutes into the drive the doctor calls back and confirms that it sounds like my water broke and they will be expecting us at the hospital.

I'm in a good mood and very excited this labor has started on its own - despite the fact that I still feel no contractions. Erik drops me off at the ER entrance. I waddle in and inform them that my water broke. They call someone and say, "We've got another one." (Popular night?) While I wait for the escort Erik arrives from parking the car. Santa Clause in a Swine Flu mask shows up and tells us to follow him. (Not really Santa Clause - just a big man with a white beard. Come on, people. Keep up!) He takes us upstairs to the Labor and Delivery desk where I see another woman waiting to be taken to a room. She is sitting in a wheel chair and looking miserable. I cheerfully say, "You, too?!" She gives me a pained smile that says "Shut-up." I follow the nurse to my room with not just a waddle but a bounce in my step.

They set to hooking me up to machines to monitor the baby's heartbeat and my contractions as well as hooking me up to an IV of fluids and antibiotics needed for the presence of Strep B. They checked and confirmed that indeed my water had broken. They also discovered the presence of meconium - typical for babies that are 2 weeks overdue, but it means that she needed to get out of the contaminated amniotic fluid within 24 hours to avoid infection. Not only that, but they also discovered that though her head was down, she was facing to the side instead of to the ground. They tried several times throughout the labor to turn her, but she would not be moved! (Stubborn girl.)

The first 7 or so hours at the hospital I spent walking around or chilling in bed and thinking, "This isn't so bad."

I was 7cm and still not contracting on my own so they started me on evil Petocin. At this point I also opted for an epidural. (Gosh, those sting going in!) Unfortunately, the epidural rarely worked. I was experiencing TERRIBLE, ragged, rapid-fire contractions and could do nothing, not even getting out of bed, to handle the pain. They kept sending the anesthesiologist into my room to give me shots and doses of pain meds and still could not manage my pain. At one point Erik was sitting by my bed and holding my hand while I moaned through the contractions, they became so intense and were coming in such rapid succession without relief that I began to sob as I moaned and could not stop. Finally the contractions subsided for a minute and I looked up at Erik. He had tears running down his face and said, "I'm so sorry I did this to you." It was so hard for him to see me in such pain. I chuckled and reassured him that I was okay and, though the pain SUCKED, I knew it would be worth it.

From here on everything is a blur and Erik has had to help me fill in the details.

At this point I have been in labor for 22 hours - mostly w/o any working pain medication though there was an epidural in my back that forced me to stay on my back in bed instead of being able to get up and do various pain management techniques. (Suck.) Erik goes to find the nurses to tell them that we need to get this thing going as it is nearing the 24 hour mark and I am not doing well. (Apparently they were eating dinner.) They come in and have me push twice. I successfully urinate all over the table. I apologize over and over. They just looked at each other annoyed and ask who didn't drain my bladder when it was supposed to be done as they lift me up and change the bed dressings. After the pushing they acknowledge that my baby is rather big and is not turning the way they would have liked her to. 

They give me 2 options: either a C-section or vaginal birth aided by forceps. I have educated myself on the pros and cons of both and I know that the doctor that is on call happens to be the hospital's "expert" on forceps births. I decided to take my chances that possibly the forceps birth will be less invasive and have less damage. Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun! (That is menacing foreshadowing music.)

Erik tells me that another 2 hours go buy as they are gathering all the appropriate people and prepping me and the equipment for delivery. The next thing I am conscious of is opening my eyes to remind them to finally get some good medicine into me before the procedure. I was shocked to see about 8 medical personnel in my room. I am told that 2 or 3 of them were from NICU. Since the baby has been swimming in meconium contaminated fluid for so long there is a possibility for infection. Also, unbeknownst to me, they are expecting somewhat of an arduous delivery (which should have been apparent from the presence of so many people in my room, but I was pretty out of it. I had no idea how traumatic it would be.) For this reason the NICU nurses are there to help stabilize the baby after delivery. There was also an anesthesiologist, 2 or 3 nurses and 2 doctors.

The next thing I know it is midnight and we are underway. They have raised my bed to their chest level and are inserting a speculum. Fortunately, they have finally managed my pain so I am feeling the pressure of the activity but not the pain.

They tell me to push and I bare down with all my might. The best way I can describe pushing during delivery is you push as if you're trying to poo. Seriously. I kept imagining taking a dump. This must be right bc they kept telling me I was a great pusher. Anyway, I believe I was passing out between each push. I just remember every now and then waking up and drowsily asking if I should push. I gave a big push and felt the head lodge in my opening. Erik says, "I see hair!" I remember thinking, "This is really happening." Why this only just occurred to me, I don't know.

The next time I come to, I look up and see a doctor's rear-end in my face. She has climbed on top of the table and is straddling me. The baby's shoulder has gotten stuck under my pelvic bone and they need to remove her quickly for the safety of the baby. Erik says this was a terrifying time for him. He sees the horrifying sight of our baby's head and one arm hanging out of me. She is completely blue and is not moving. Then he looks at me and sees that I keep passing out and am totally delirious. My body is being jerked around by the doctor who is on top of me pushing my belly and pulling and twisting the baby. He is standing in the corner traumatized, asking God if he is going to have to choose one of us and agonizing over which one it would be.

With one mighty yank and twist she is out. I hear Erik's shaky voice saying we are going to be alright and that she looks great. I turn to look at him and am not very reassured. His smile is forced, his tear-rimmed eyes look mortified and he is completely pale. I keep saying, "Is she okay? I can't hear her. Why isn't she crying?" They have given her directly to the NICU nurses who are attempting to stabilize her. She does not cry bc they immediately stick a tube down her throat, I am told, to prevent infection from the tainted amniotic fluids. I am told that she is 10lbs 1oz and 22in long. Big girl. I am so impressed that I immediately pass out again.

After a minute I hear her soft cries. She is not a screamer. Her cries have always seemed more like cooes. They place her on my chest and there she is - this thing - this something that I immediately love and find so strange and foreign at the same time. I sense her need. My body longs to warm her's, to nurture her. Her head begins to move, her mouth already opening and closing, searching for food. I help her find it - only we have both miscalculated and I pull her off to find we have completely missed the nipple and she has created a raised hickey beside it. We try again - it is a learning process that even 3 months later is still developing.

Not only am I helping this little one, but she is helping me. She is the best pain medicine. I do not even notice the two doctors at my other end busily working to stitch up my 3rd degree lacerations - vaginal and rectal. Soon they come to take my little girl again. Her APGAR score was initially very low and they must run the test again. Fortunately, this is all done in my delivery room. Unfortunately, as soon as they remove her from my chest I become painfully aware of what is taking place down below. I inform the doctors that I can feel everything they are doing. They tell me that I can't and I am only feeling the pressure of what they are doing. I tell them I know what I am feeling and what I am feeling is needle piercing my skin repeatedly and thread being drawn through me as if I am a leather bookmark craft at boyscout camp. They look at each other and say, "I think she needs some more pain meds." Yuh think?

I am now coherent enough to begin asking Erik questions. "What did we name her?" He said we named her what we had decided upon. We had decided upon it but I was a little disappointed. Did we make a good choice. I don't even know this baby. Maybe the name doesn't fit her. I had these nagging feelings for 2 weeks and even stumbled over saying her name as it did not yet come to my mouth easily. But as she became less foreign to me, so did her name until it became her - definitively. My little Juniper Grace.

"Did you cut the umbilical chord?" Erik said the nurse did it as soon as they delivered her. I began to apologize that he didn't get the opportunity but he threw his arms up and said he was happy to let them do it. He was not about to step into the madness that was taking place.

"They need to take her foot prints. Did they take her foot prints?" Apparently they took them while she was with the NICU nurses. That kind of bummed me out. I would have liked to watch that or at least have gotten a picture of it.

The nurses asked me if I needed anything. "A turkey sandwich with cheese, lettuce and mayonnaise, a piece of fruit and ginger-ale." I was starving! I hadn't had anything to eat in over 28 hours, and after all of that physical exertion and all of the fluids and meds being pumped into me I just wanted something in my belly - other than a baby. That was the best turkey sandwich I have ever had.

They move me up to the mother-baby floor where I remain in my private room for the next 3 days. My mother comes later that day and we soon realize that none of the clothes I brought to the hospital are going to fit this 10lb 1oz, 22in long baby I just had. She runs to the store and picks up a couple adorable outfits so that my baby does not go home naked.

The nurse shows me how to tend to my stitches which involves ice packs that you break and shake like glow sticks, tucks pads, steroid foam, mammoth maxi pads, gauzy granny panties (a God-send), squirt bottles and warm baths sans soap. I am on a regular diet of 600mg ibuprofen, percocet (AMEN!) and stool softeners (DO NOT skip those stool softners, ladies. I will probably elaborate in another post.) So, I am feeling pretty good.

We let Erik go home to sleep that first night as he definitely needs some time to re-coop after all he has witnessed. My mother stays on a bench made up as a bed. Erik stays the next 2 nights with me. During this time I am allowed no visitors as they have become very strict about who they let onto the floor due to the concerns over H1N1 (swine flu.) Fortunately, my friend Laura Bennett had begun training at the hospital for a new job that week so she was able to stop by. That was nice. On the 3rd day they ask if I would like to stay longer. My ordeal has made Juniper and I something of celebrities on the floor with many nurses and doctors stopping by to check on us and pat themselves on the back for their accomplishment. They tell me I deserve to stay as long as I want, but I am eager to get my little one home.

Before we can depart, Juniper must take and pass a hearing test. Though I was told that she would not be taken from my room for any reason, they come and wheel her out for the test. She does not like being taken away and therefore cries throughout the test, causing her to fail. The next time they come to take her for the test I ask if Erik can go with her so she can have someone familiar with her. I was told in orientation this was completely acceptable, however the nurse acts very put off and tries to refuse. I insist. Still, Juniper cries and does not pass. I ask, as I had asked from the beginning, that they please give her the test in my room. I know they are capable of doing this and was told it was done often. Apparently the nurse was offended, believing that I am insinuating that she does not know how to do her job. Whatever. It ends up taking several hours to get someone to come to my room to perform the test on Juniper. I nurse her during the test to keep her calm. She passes with flying colors. Geesh.

Now we can go home. An exhausted nurse asks if I need a wheel chair or if I can just walk out. I say that I guess I can walk - I don't want to wait another hour for a wheel chair. Have you ever heard of a new mother leaving the hospital w/o a wheel chair? Especially one with 3rd degree lacerations? I know!
It was an ordeal - but I swear I would do every bit of it 100 times over if I meant I could have my wonderful baby girl. We finally got her home - and now the real adventure begins!

Let Me Sleep

Last night Juniper slept 8 hours. Unfortunately that 8 hours began at 6:30pm. While I enjoyed having my evening - being able to cook and actually sit to eat dinner - I did not enjoy that fact that the 8 hours ended at 2:30am.
In the morning Juniper was lying next to me in bed after a feeding. She decided she was not ready to sleep and did not want me to sleep, either. I was determined to continue my slumbering and she was determined to wake me up. For an HOUR she babbled at me, fussed and hit me in the face repeatedly. After satisfying myself as the world's most neglectful mother, I gave in and got up. Before picking her up I made a quick trip to the restroom. What did I find upon reentering the bedroom? Juniper sucking her thumb, fast asleep again. And there I was wide awake. I think she does this on purpose. She is trying to drive me crazy. What will she be like as a teen, I wonder?

For the rest of the day we were busy around town running errands. Junie was wonderful, wonderful. Though she hated being put into her car-seat, she LOVES her Baby Bjorn and does not mind being in it for hours at a time. She smiled and kicked her legs and waved her arms at all who passed. The world was putty in her adorable little hands. It was so fun to watch someone else's day be brightened just by the sight of her. I love being her mommy.

Recent FB Posts

Oct. 27 9:56pm

So, I think my daughter may be lactose-intolerant like her father. We seem to have a bad night every time I have dairy. :(

Oct 28 12:06pm

Doctor mandated inactivity is really doing a number on my already weak knees. How can I work out my legs w/o moving my bum? It hurts to just bend my knees, let alone walk or stand up from the couch with an infant in my arms. Arg.

Oct 28 8:34pm

What makes babies smell so sweet?

Oct 31 8:10pm

Erik made a Delicious meal tonight! Guiness brats w/ onions and cabbage w/ potatoes. Yummmmmmm! Looking forward to the chocolate chip pumpkin bread we made. :) This year for Halloween we are going as Domestics.

Nov 1 9:57pm

Lindsay Peterson actually felt like a normal person today! We went to church, lunch with friends and a trip to the mall! :) . . . and now my stitches hurt.

Nov 2 10:38pm

Kirkland's diapers from Costco = Massive FAIL!!!!!!

Nov 3 7:04pm

Lindsay Peterson thinks Juniper ate an entire pumpkin from the looks of what was in her diaper. She filled one diaper to capacity then filled a second one while still on the changing table and continued to go as I was trying to catch it all w/ half a container of wipes. Poor Elmo diaper never had a chance. However, no leaks! Hooray for Pampers!!!

Nov 6 2:45pm

Lindsay Peterson is so thankful that Juniper slept 6 1/2 hours last night! Also, we went to Sam's Club and I wore her in my Maya wrap and she did so well! She only fussed at the end when she woke up from her nap and could not stretch her legs. She likes to stretch.

Nov 6 9:30pm

Lindsay Peterson thoroughly enjoyed Juniper's dancing during family worship tonight. Of course, it only lasted about 7 minutes before she fussed and pooped and then went to sleep - but it was so cute while it lasted!

Nov 7 1:46pm

Lindsay Peterson loves my sleeping girl! Another 6 hours last night - woohoo!

Nov 8 7:27pm

Lindsay Peterson walked in to Juniper's nursery thinking she was lying in bed fussing, but found her happily talking to herself and squealing. Hmm, I guess having conversations with oneself is hereditary.

Nov 10 11:03am

Lindsay Peterson Today I actually found myself thinking, "Hmm, a Slanket would be really convenient right now." I know - it scared me, too!

Musings of an Early Morning Feeding

Originally posted October 28, 2009
On Friday Juniper will be 1 month old! I feel like I need one of those signs you see in factories that say "258 days without injury. Previous record 175." Mine will read "30 days without physical or mental irreparable damage to the child. Previous record ____."
Juniper's baby acne is killing me! It looks like chicken pox. :( It is hard to see such a beautiful baby covered with so many blemishes.
So, I think I may have inadvertently had caffeine yesterday. This makes for a very fussy baby that can't make herself go to sleep no matter how hard she tries. Poor thing. She was awake for about 5 or 6 hours straight last night. It was either caffeine or the cream cheese I had on my bagel. We're still testing with this possible lactose-intolerance. I would HATE if she couldn't have dairy. I can't imagine a life without cheese and ice cream!
Juniper is becoming very vocal and better about communicating what she likes and dislikes and also letting us know when she wants her diaper changed. Last week the doctor was surprised that she is "talking" already. Usually her talking leads up to fussing, but sometimes she coos when she's happy. I could swear that her smiles are becoming more intentional and not just facial ticks and gas related. A couple times she has given me a big smile when I look at her or talk to her. So precious. :)

I'm keeping Juniper awake by typing this instead of rocking her. Bad mommy being so neglectful. Oops! Have I ruined my 30day run on the physical/mental injury sign? Oh, she just fussed herself to sleep. I'm sure she's fine. Phew!

Facebook Posts During Mommyhood

FB posts from when Juniper was born until the beginning of this blog:
Oct 3 7:05pm

Lindsay Peterson is a mom! It was a very difficult delivery and it will be a while before I am back to my emotional and physical self. However, I have the MOST BEAUTIFUL and PRECIOUS baby girl and I am feeling VERY blessed! Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers!

Oct 4 12:31pm

Lindsay Peterson "Breastfeeding: every little suck a little success." I think I'm later going to write a memoir about this craziness and use that as the title of one of the chapters. I reserve the right to amend it to "This Sucks Because She Won't"

Oct 7 1:46am

My baby has become such a good eater!!!!!!! She has gone from not eating for 2 days straight, losing 2lbs and screaming non-stop to now being the best little sucker in town! God is so good and mommy and baby are so happy! Ladies, use the resources av...ailable to you. Don't allow you and your baby to suffer. Going to a lactation consultant is the best thing I could have done! Praise God!!!!!
Oct 9 1:43am

So, it turns out my daughter's "wake time" is from around 10pm to 3am. About midnight she starts alternating 10 minutes of feeding and 10 minute naps. I basically keep holding her until she starts fussing to feed again. Fun times. Wish I had a DVR.

Oct 11 12:33am

Lindsay Peterson is very blessed :)

Oct 12 2:45am

Lindsay Peterson loves that Juniper's default face is a smile. :) I pray she always stays this happy!

Oct 13 2:43am

So, baby girl was awake from 8:30pm to 2:30 am. Seriously? Is this normal for a 12-day-old? I'm exhausted.

Oct 14 2:51pm

Erik with his hand on my belly: "Does it feel different?" Me starting to cry: "It feels useless and fat and empty. It's not special anymore." Erik: "It's still special. It's just in hibernation." :)

Oct 15 8:52pm

My husband takes such good care of me :) I love him!

Oct 21 7:09pm

I need to be more disciplined about this nap thing so I don't hate myself @ 3 in the morning.

Oct 23 7:18am

With Juniper in the house there is another person for me to blame whenever I pass gas. It was getting difficult always trying to convince Erik it was him.

Oct 24 1:07pm

Lindsay Peterson is wearing a cabbage bra.

Oct 25 4:50pm

Lindsay Peterson bought a crib sheet instead of a changing pad cover. Doh! I HATE when I do that!

Oct 26 4:38pm

The past few days Juniper has refused to sleep in her crib. I am thanking God right now for her swing!

FB Posts While Pregnant

Apparently FB didn't save my posts from Jan. - June (or I just can't find them.) Grrr. Oh well. Here are the posts from July on:
July 14 3:41pm

Why am I exhausted by EVERYTHING today?! At least there is a marathon of Jonas on Disney Channel. Ya, I am.

July 14 9:14pm

Lindsay Peterson is sad that her life is too "grown-up" at the moment to accommodate a midnight showing of Harry Potter. :(

July 20 8:36am

Droppin' Mema off at the airport. Gonna be a full day when I get home. I have dubbed Mondays - Floor Days! I will probably add an additional day when they baby starts crawling (or just do them every day.)

July 20 11:13am

Lindsay Peterson had such a great time at my baby shower this weekend! Thank you to all the lovely ladies who were involved that made is so special! See you all this Sunday at the big CityChurch/Missionary Baptist softball face-off!

July 22 12:45pm

Lindsay Peterson just ordered the baby bedding! So cute! Pictures will follow when it arrives!

July 22 6:31pm

Pickles are a common snack of pregnant women, right? So, why are they giving me acid reflux?

July 26 7:57am

Lindsay Peterson is slowly coming to the realization that there will soon be a child that is using Erik and me as examples of how to live and grow. I guess I should be used to the concept of being an example, seeing that I am a teacher - but I always took comfort in knowing that it is the parents that do most of the ireparble damage. Now I am that parent!

July 26 8:59pm

so tired

July 27 8:10am

Waiting for the stores to open so I can get some things done. It's frustrating when I wake up early to start my day but no one in Asheville is starting it with me - so I have to sit and wait. Can't even enjoy a cup of coffee. Le sigh.

July 27 9:44am

On-line shopping (in moderation and with wisdom and self-control) is a marvelous thing! I have gotten so many things that I need for my baby! (I hope I don't change my tune when my packages start arriving this week.)

July 29 3:01pm

Why is it when I am staying home and excited about a package that will arrive today that the mail is HOURS later than it normally arrives? I AM STILL WAITING!!!!!!!! getting seriously frustrated

July 31 11:20am

It is amazing how lethargic rain makes me.

July 31 5:37pm

Hosting a small tea/brunch for some neighborhood ladies tomorrow so am doing some prep cooking for it. It is going to be sooooooo yummy! I can't wait!

Aug 2 11:32pm

Reservations continue to come in at the Peterson bed & breakfast. I smile with a sigh. :)

Aug 3 12:05am

Not excited about going to sleep. With one month to go, bedtime has become a constant quest for comfort. argh. I think I'll just stay up until I drop.

Aug 5 4:23pm

It's raining; it's pouring. The pregnant lady's been snoring - for about 3 hours!

Aug 6 12:09pm

Prayer and just putting yourself out there really does pay off sometimes. We have a full weekend starting tonight!

Aug 6 4:35pm

Made some coconut-pineapple squares. Mmmmm. And they are a Paula Deen recipe so, yes, there are 2 sticks of butter. (I even toasted my own pineapple bc I'm awesome.)

Aug 7 5:08am

Acid Reflux at 4am. Had spaghetti at a friend's house and knew I would pay for it later. Tums, milk and sitting up. Any other suggestions?

Aug 7 12:27pm

Wake-up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead. So, I'm wondering if these 3 hour naps are normal at this point in pregnancy.

Aug 7 1:45pm

Lindsay Peterson can't leave my house bc there is an agitated yellow jackets' nest right by my driver's side door. Could I really crawl my pregnant self through the passenger side of the car when I have a hard time just getting up from the couch? Anyone want to come rescue me?

Aug 9 12:10pm

Lindsay Peterson is taking apart and moving everything out of the baby's room so my father-in-law can Spackle, sand and paint the walls. It is hurting my mommy instincts to have to take apart everything I so lovingly put together. :'( So hard.

Aug 10 2:01pm

Father-in-law incoming in t-minus 60 minutes. Trying to enjoy the last hour with the house to myself. Wish I could nap - but need to mop and straighten up. Also wish my allergies weren't going nuts-o from all the standing water in our flooded ex...tra room and wish I had the energy/ability to do something about it other than just sit here and suffer until someone comes and takes care of it. Sigh.

Aug 11 10:21am

My father-in-law and I are having a silent fight over the placement of the soap dispenser. I prefer it to conveniently be right next to the faucet. Apparently, he prefers it to be at the back of the counter since is seems to have traveled back there ...every time I walk into the bathroom. Why?! This causes water to be dripped all over my counter as your hands traverse the distance between the faucet and the dispenser.

Aug 12 2:11am

Up with acid reflux. Dang raspberry tea.

Aug 13 2:36pm

Lindsay Peterson scheduled a pre-natal massage and intensive pedicure for next week. Hooray!

Aug 14 6:26pm

I am considering naming my child Shaquante'. There's an accent on the 'e' bc it is French. (I was informed of this by a former student with the same name.) Strange - in all my trips to Paris and my study of the French language and... culture I have never come across this name. I learn so much from my students.
Aug 15 8:42pm

Erik refuses to shave my legs for me. What a selfish jerk! Doesn't a pregnant lady get any pity? Gosh.

Aug 16 10:10pm

Lindsay Peterson is relieved to NOT be starting school tomorrow! Mwahahahaha!!!!!!!! :-P

Aug 17 8:00am

Lindsay Peterson saw a 2 or 3 point buck in our backyard last night about 1am while I was on one of my many nightly bathroom visits. It glowed silver in the moonlight. For a moment I thought I was looking at Harry Potter's patronus! Very cool.

Aug 19 8:36am

Lindsay Peterson
is about to head out to my maternity massage and pedicure! So excited! I totally earned it yesterday. 7 hours of errands and shopping has left me feeling soar like no other physical activity ever has! I guess I should listen when they say pregnant la...dies should take it easy - especially in their 9th month. Lesson learned! :)

Aug 20 9:29am

Lindsay Peterson
is taking it easy today. Short grocery trip, mop baby's room and begin to re-assemble it. If I call the children's consignment shop and they've gotten in a co-sleeper, I will run out - but only for that. Otherwise, my butt is staying p lanted on this couch where it longs to be - per orders of one Erik Peterson. Good man.
Aug 20 1:12pm

Is it weird that even though I am pregnant I hate watching those baby story shows? I would much rather watch stand-up comedy.

Aug 22 9:07am

Hooray for Saturday morning Infomercials! I am once again sold on "Your Baby Can Read." Totally saving up for it.

Aug 23 9:15pm

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! There is MOLD in my house!!!!!! I told them! I TOLD THEM!!!!!!!! but no one listens to the crazy pregnant lady! Now I am SICK, I cannot see out of my left eye, my baby is going to come home to air filled with mold spores a...nd I AM FURIOUS!!!!!!!!!! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!! Gotta give it up to him, though - dear husband is working VERY hard to rid us of this mess ASAP.

Aug 25 6:24am

Note to Self: 2 bean and cheese burritos after 10pm = ridiculous acid reflux all night.

Aug 27 10:20am

SO GLAD THAT IS OVER!!!!!!!! Stomach bug during pregnancy = miserable, miserable, MISERABLE!!!!!!! The really fun thing is that all of the strange noises produced by my belly while sick freaks out the baby and makes her move a lot! Imagine having foo...d poisoning and then have a little leprechaun come along and use your intestines as punching bags and your stomach as a trampoline. You get the picture.

Aug 29 11:41am

Maalox is my new best friend. Relief from 10pm to 6am. Heaven!

Aug 31 10:49am

Doc says baby's head is really low, I am 2cm and it is very unlikely she will go past term. Better get ready! Due date is the 16th!

Sept 3 9:49am

Mmmm, Eggo waffle with Nutella and banana. Slap that in a cookbook and label it delicious.

Sept 6 4:02pm

Lindsay Peterson is soooooo pregnant. *grooooooaaaaaan*

Sept 10 8:28pm

I need a good rationalization for why it would be okay for me to buy Rock Band for Wii - Beatles addition when I have a baby due any day now. Any suggestions?

Sept 12 11:35am

Are there any studies on the affect of laptop computers on unborn children? I was just thinking that I usually sit with the computer on my pregnant belly. Will my baby come out with 3 arms or missing a brain lobe?

Sept 12 7:59pm

Oh, Mr. Braxton Hicks - you are a cruel tease. Come back when you want to get serious. I have no patience for your foolery.

Sept 14 2:03pm

Lindsay Peterson is 4cm and practically crushing her cranium with my thighs. You should see my waddle. Common baby!

Sept 15 11:29am

So, why has the world not stopped to realize that I am ridiculously and miserably pregnant? There are still capable walkers parking in the closest parking spots. The very thing I need is still way on the other side of the store. The places I want foo......d from still will not deliver. To me, at this moment, the world is very inconsiderate.
Sept 16 11:22am

waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting . . . . . . . .

Sept 16 8:32pm

Today is the due date. Only 5% of babies are born on their due date. *Sigh*

Sept 17 11:49am

Lindsay Peterson just went to Waffle House and couldn't fit into the booth! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Sept 20 4:33pm

Lindsay Peterson just woke up from a nap with my throat on fire! Pregnancy has made me a champion snorer. Champion!

Sept 20 9:05pm

Let me describe bliss: French onion dip w/ wavy chips, old-fashioned Gummi Worms, and Neil Patrick Harris hosting the Emmys. Yes.

Sept 21 3:51pm

It has been raining non-stop here for days. I'm contemplating building an ark. What this means, though, is I can't get out and walk. So . . . . . I think I'm going to look up an old Sweatin' to the Oldies video and get my groove on. That might work, right?

Sept 22 12:11am

Lindsay Peterson has to keep reminding myself that the only person who stays perpetually pregnant is Joe's wife Bonnie on the Family Guy. This will end . . . sometime.

Sept 23 1:37pm

Lindsay Peterson just got stung by a hornet! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY????????!!!!!!!!!

Sept 24 12:30pm

Lindsay Peterson just had a marvelous pedicure and a cute haircut. Ok, baby. I'm all pretty. You can come now!

Sept 25 8:24am

Lindsay Peterson had a dream last night that I was in a pro-Obama musical and we were singing "Don't Be Tardy for the Party." I also dreamed that I could make out all the features of the baby through my stomach and she was looking up at me and all I could say to her was, "Get out!"

Sept 25 8:09pm

Lindsay Peterson is going out to dinner to celebrate our last Friday w/o a child and the beginning of Erik's paternity leave.

Sept 28 6:34am

This time tomorrow I will be headed to the hospital to be induced, hooray! However, I really wish she would come on her own today.

Sept 28 9:30pm

Inducing this baby in the morning! We would really appreciate your prayers. I am super nervous!


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